Every night for the past 2 weeks….
I tuck my 2 baby girls in.
I pray for those helpless mama’s in Iraq.
How out of control they must feel and how heart wrenching their position is.
I pray for their faith in the Lord. That they are able to stay strong in their task, that they might not waste their trials. I pray that they remember how their children are not theirs alone, but a gift from our heavenly Father, who loves them far more than we are even capable of. Praise God that these Christians are dying in their proclamation of faith in the one true God, and not for something meaningless, but I cannot imagine!!!
But then I feel like a hypocrite. Because I can only *hope* that my faith would have the same endurance that I pray they have now.
And then I go to my own bed, crying and praying.
And eventually, I get up to go pray over my own children some more.
And I think of those who have nothing but prayer.
I fear for my children’s future. For the world that they will someday be living in, free and outside of my control. For a world that is fast approaching, perhaps even arriving before they are fully grown. A world where Mom can no longer do enough! As weak as my protection may be, it is of some comfort to me.
But tonight I wonder, is it best? Certainly my task is to guard and guide their hearts above all else, and impress upon them these biblical values. How often do I let me fear of trivial pains ‘protect’ them from Gods plan?
If my 2 year were asked “Do you love Jesus?” She would answer yes. She would probably even lift her arms and sing in her beautiful voice, in a key unlike any you or I can sing in, and bring praise before our God just as she did in church this morning,
“Hands up! Hearts open! Wide as the sky! We lift you high. We lift you high! Let all the other names fade away… Let all the other names fade away! Jesus take your place. Jesus take your place!”
If she were in Iraq… She would die.
She doesn’t begin to understand all this theology we clutter our hearts with. She doesn’t have the weight of the outside world to draw her away from what she believes is truth. But she would answer with a yes.
And none of that other stuff matters. We are called to have faith like a child. Not to worry about what happens next, but trust that He will care for us if we love Him.
It reaffirms in my heart that no matter what else my child learns in this life, NONE OF IT matters if she doesn’t know Christ is her Lord. And while I do all I can to protect her, I cannot control the world that surrounds her… So I need to equip her with the best tools we have been provided.
That we would trust in the Lord with all our heart, laying all our fears upon Him, believing that Jesus is God, and that He was willing to die so we can spend eternity praising His holy name.
That. That is what we must build our whole life upon. If she were to die without knowing that, she would spend eternity enduring greater suffering than anything we can imagine on this temporary earth.
So while I pray for her heart, her mind, and His work in our life…
I do NOT pray for our safety.
Believe you me, I so want to! The human side of me is wanting to. But tonight, I pray that we would allow our Lord to use us as He chooses to forever bring glory to His name. He is great and worthy of our everything!!!! I have to trust that she is in Gods will and that He will use her however He sees fit.
She is His first, forever, and mine for a little while.
As I try to fall asleep. I continue to pray. Prayer is all I have. It is my task as I do my tiny share of bearing with my brothers and sisters in Christ. They need our prayer. Do not let yourself grow used to the world around you.
Be OK with living life uneasy.
Be sure of your faith in the one true God but be wary of all this world has to offer. To feel safe is to be blind, fallen into the trap of this world. We have so much working against us and our relationship with the Lord.
Be OK with going to bed uneasy.
Worry about the state of our heart and not of how much sleep we get.
There is much to be done. Many who need to hear. And only the Lord knows how long we have to do it!