ABC’s Of Getting Married Young

A list of things I’ve learned about being married young. And being married period! The highs and lows. The truths. The “wives tales”. The things people were wrong about… And the things I didn’t expect!

David and I were married 2 months after my 18th birthday and he was 22. (And I wasn’t pregnant… Just in love! Always worth clarifying!) It was the best and sometimes toughest decision I’ve ever made. And soooo worth it!

*Disclaimer*
I am not trying to convince people here that they NEED to get married young, for certainly no one should feel pressured to find a spouse. This is written in support of people who have already chosen to marry young, or might be feeling discouragement from people around them at the prospect of their marrying young. I certainly had some people like that and I enjoy seeing stories that support our decision. So here’s mine!

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{This was so much fun to write thinking back over our first years of being married!}

A- Apologizing
I think this is a fitting ‘A’ word. Start things out realizing you are EACH going to make mistakes. And we have to be humble enough and loving enough to be able to apologize.

{My husband is the star at this. He is most often the one wronged, but always showing me up and being the first to apologize! It has really taught me a lot!}

B- Best Friends
You will be and NEED to be best friends. Period.

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C- Commitment
So many words. Marriage isnt for the weak. When you marry someone it’s for life. Didn’t we say “as long as you both shall live”? Well, you better believe it!

D- Dove
Dove chocolate. CHOCOLATE! Women like chocolate.
(^Thats going to help a husband out some day!)

E- Eggs
If you’re me, getting married young might include cracking an egg on your husbands head one late cooking night. That was FUN! Getting married young is fun.

{Another side note- when I read this to David and he heard “egg” he thought I might be offering a little free pregnancy advice! Haha. Nope!}

F- Friends
There will be sooooo many types of friends who effect your relationship. There are the one’s who support you and understand. (Most likely friends who are also married!) And then there are the ones who weigh you down. The ones who don’t understand that he needs to be your closest friend. And they’re not always supportive. They don’t understand and they probably won’t until they get married!

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G- Growth
Getting married young means you’re open to new opinions, not so set in your own ways. You’re both willing to learn together, and hopefully you will make less mistakes because of that. Chances are, you will likely skip many conflicts that commonly arise between two people who formed their own firm opinions separately… And assumed their partner would just magically agree with them later on.
I’m not saying you will avoid all conflicts…
Obviously not.
I’m not saying people can’t change their minds later on so they agree…
This clearly still work.
Just saying. We have a distinct advantage here…

H- Husbands.
Hilarious. See below.
(I couldn’t come up with anything.)

{My husband wants me to use “Humping” as my H word… I’m trying to come up with something else… Hopefully!}

I- Ice
One of you will always be ice cold. One of you will always be hot.
You’ll probably fight over the thermostat.
And you’ll stick your frozen feet under him at night just because.

{Actually, I’m pretty sure this is scientifically proven to apply to every couple, no matter when they got married… It’s just worth knowing!}

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J- Jokes
He likes to pull pranks. To scare me. Its part of the fun (or is it one of the problems?) of living with your best friend!

K- Kids
Deciding together. Right away so you’re young and fresh, or later so you can have more “us” time to start things off… There’s no wrong decision!

L- Laughter
Have fun together! Laugh at his jokes. He wants to be the one who makes you laugh…

M- Money
There will be struggles and there will be triumphs. And they will be all the sweeter and memorable because you carry the burden together! 2 brains are better than one…

O- Opportunity
It is such an amazing experience. Its a chance to better yourself in ways different than if you lived alone and enjoyed the single life… The love and struggles make you a better and different person than you could be on your own.

P- Partnership
Don’t marry someone you’re not willing to make decisions with. Marriage means you’re becoming one person. One mind, one heart… Thats the goal at least! It might take a while to get on the same page.

Q- Quarts
… And quarts of tears! I’m sure this applies to all marriages, but there you have it men! We’re women and we “like” to cry…

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R- Romance
It will be different than the movies. And better! Trying not to have expectations and just appreciate what your other half has to offer helps. They will surprise you!

S- Sex
Not to state the obvious. But … It needs to be said! (If you’re anything like us and you waited… Its a really obvious statement!)

T- Transparency
Don’t keep secrets. Money, mistakes, good or bad history, fears… You share it now!

U- Ugly
Things will get ugly. Whether its between the two of you or something the two of you have to battle together. We all know it isn’t “Will we?” But “When?!”

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V- Victories
They may be few and far between for a season of growing, or one right on top of the other… No matter when, they’re sweeter together!

W- Warnings
If you’re reading this prior to marriage, be warned. There are people who will try to steer you in another direction. Try to tempt you with things like “a life of your own” “experiences” and “growing up”. And while I will allow that there are valid reasons for not getting married right away… All I can say is, a life together, experiencing things for the first time together and growing up together can prevent a lot of issues and create a lot of amazing memories. It can be a fuller life. There’s nothing I regret!!!

X- X-Rated
Speaks for itself ;)

Y- Young
If you’re with the one you know God wants you to marry, and you have the support of family, its the way to go!

Don’t do it to spite anyone.
Don’t be that undefined, no-end-in-sight boyfriend and girlfriend.
Don’t do it just because.
Do it for all the right reasons.
To honor Gods design for men and women to marry each other.
To grow up, start a life. Unlike American “norm” dictates.
Glorify your Lord together.

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Z- Zero
I couldn’t think of a “Z” word as we are headed to bed. And as we walked into our room I winced as I noticed the sheets were still in the dryer. David suggested using “Zero” meaning “Zero tolerance for making the bed right before bed!” Oops. I try. Really! Maybe someone will read this and catch on quicker than the wife of David Beuving! :) My last note is- set a standard. Never go to bed angry and always kiss goodnight. That’s it. Thanks for reading!

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*Photo credit goes to my good friend and photographer Vince Murdock at IndigoSkyPhotography Thanks for capturing my absolute favorite memories!

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